Sample Massachusetts Drivers Test

As a transplant from other climes, I have had to learn to endure the other drivers here on the road. Actually, that's not true - I still haven't gotten used to them. I've travelled around the world and so I have seen the driving styles in other cities. In Salt Lake City, I noticed more than a handful of people swinging from the number 1 lane across the 2, 3 and even 4 lanes to make a right hand turn. In Nashville, stop signs didn't carry the weight they do in other places. Providence offers up the bizarre behavior of giving the right of way to oncoming traffic making a left turn in front of you, in spite of the fact that there is a long line of drivers behind you slamming on their brakes. While it may appear that people in other countries have a haphazard approach to driving, they do not use their cell phone/groom themselves/drink/eat/watch tv/beat the kids in the back seat while in motion. I caught a blurb once where German auto designers asked, "cup holders?" It's just counter intuitive. While you will see the Andretti team wearing 7-Eleven racing suits, you don't see an Extreme Mug on the cockpit camera. Anyway, I digress.

I am not saying that every driver here is oblivious, just don't expect eye contact. Seriously. Trying to merge into the next lane? They won't look at you. Not sure if it's your turn to pull into the intersection or not? Don't look to the blank stares for help. Sitting in gridlock on the ONLY freeway tollway that crosses the entire State? Let your kids play the Count the Zombies game, instead of Slug Bug.

There are three types of drivers here: Pokey, Zippy and Apathetic. Pokey, oblivious to speed, rolls along at his own pace. If traffic is flowing at a steady 65, he's comfortable doing 60. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, except he's doing it in the FAST LANE! Zippy, on the other hand, is oblivious to distance. If there is 12 feet between your truck and the car in front of you, he'll zip in and leave you with 2, just to get one whole car length closer to his destination. He's also fond of passing on 2-lane streets during snow storms, heedless of the oncoming snow plow. Apathetic mingles amongst the others mumbling about the crappy drivers, yet does nothing about it, accepting it as gospel or karma. "You screwed up in your past life! Now you have to drive in Massachusetts!" What they all lack is any idea of the concept of 'flow.'

Flow is what Californians have in spades. They have to. An accident here seems to be the only thing these drivers DO look at, creeping by at 2 mph. It seems that it's the only excitement in their lives. Californians? "Screw this, let's do a quick 1-2-1-2-1-2 merge and get on with our lives." Cities here will even re-stripe main thoroughfares from 2 lanes to 1 to screw with the flow even more.

To help those people planning on relocating to this Wicked State prepare for the streets as I have come to know them, I offer up this quiz as insight into the mind of a Massachusetts 'Driver'...

	1. Driving defensively means: Always maintain good vision ahead and around your vehicle. Look around once in while just to make sure you're in the right State. Avoid eye contact with other drivers so you don't offend anybody. "Defensive? Most people tell me my driving is OFFensive..."
	2. The time it takes you to react, think, and apply the brakes is called reaction time. On average, it takes about three-quarters of a second for you to react to a situation and step on the brake pedal. Sometimes, it takes a couple of seconds for you to react to a situation and step on the brake pedal. "You want me to think and drive at the same time?! Don't be a chowda head." Sometimes you look up from what you're doing and see a situation that requires a reaction, put down the Dunkin' Donuts coffee and switch the cell phone to the other ear and then react.
	3. Using your horn and signals tells other drivers your intentions. These should be used: Every time you plan to stop, turn, etc. Sometimes, when traffic is really heavy. Once a year, during the vehicle inspection. As a toy to keep your child entertained while parked in quiet neighborhoods.
	4. The Fundamental Speed Law for motor vehicles is: That you must never travel faster than is reasonable and proper for the current conditions and public safety. If you travel faster than it's safe, eventually you're gonna whack or get whacked. You are usually running late, so every one else should get out of your way so you can drive as fast as you fundamentally need to. "Speed limits are Fundamentally screwed up!"
	5. Regardless of what a posted speed limit sign says, how fast you drive must depend on several factors: Traffic, road conditions, weather, and pedestrians or bicyclists. Cars, potholes, ice and those idiot health freaks out jogging. If your bald tires can keep holding on, and, how much longer those worn out brake pads will last. The number of points left on your license before those idjits at RMV take it away.
	6. This sign means: This is the maximum legal speed under ideal conditions. It's a good target speed, give or take 8 mph. It means nothing to you except you might get stuck behind some moron from out-of-state that still reads these things. The road is smooth enough that you can usually get up to 90 after your favorite watering hole closes.
	7. This sign means: Come to a complete halt. You must stop before any crosswalk or stop line painted on the pavement. Come to a complete stop, yield to pedestrians or other vehicles, and proceed carefully. Stop, then go. It's the other person's turn to stop. Slowing is a Totally Optional Proposition. "If I stop now, I won't make it home in time for the beginning of (insert name of senseless 'reality' show here)"
	8. This light means: Come to a complete stop. Obey the right-of-way laws and proceed when it is safe to do so. Slow down to about 5 mph and then go when it's clear. The intersection ahead is dangerous and the people approaching should look out because you are coming through. "Someone forgot to take down their holiday decorations."
	9. This sign means: Slow down and be prepared to stop. Let traffic, pedestrians, or bicycles pass before you enter the intersection or join another roadway. You must come to a complete stop if traffic conditions require it. Slow down then roll in between the next two cars coming. The next merge is gonna be difficult, but you're an artist at cutting in between other drivers . "I don't have time to look at signs, I'm trying to drive here, damnit!"
	10. This sign means: You should drive in the right lane and only use the left to pass. Cruise in the fast lane and get over if someone comes up behind you. The number 2 lane is for cruising.You get into it and stay there for the next 200 miles, regardless of the other drivers and traffic flowing around you. You're going 'fast enough,' damnit. "It's a trick question - the Highway Dept. took the signs down so slower drivers get in the way of the faster drivers. You can't go a day without getting stuck behind three cars, side by side, all doing the same speed."
	11. You should always stay between the lines marking your lane: Unless you are turning, exiting a highway, or changing lanes. As much of the time as possible, but these roads are so 'bovine'. "What lines?! They haven't striped since the beginning of the Big Dig, way back in '92.." "Lanes are for pussies too! Third world driving is the best."
	12. When changing lanes, you should: (1) look, (2) signal, (3) move. (1) look, (2) move, (3) signal. (1) realize you missed your turn, (2) swerve quickly across the three lanes next to you, (3) avoid eye contact with other drivers and pretend you did nothing wrong (1) look, at anything except the surrounding traffic (2) signal for the three minutes leading up to your turn, (3) slow down almost to a complete stop with the tail end of your vehicle still in traffic, then swing wide to block as many lanes of traffic as possible.
	13. Right-of-Way: Helps drivers to decide how to handle traffic situations that are not determined entirely by signs or signals. These rules are based on safety and courtesy; they do not give you any 'rights.' Remember, the right-of-way is something you give, not take. If another driver fails to follow these rules in a certain situation, you should always give the right-of-way for safety's sake. Never insist on taking the right-of-way. Is a good guide to help with traffic flow. "Implement Right-of-way in New England? That's hilarious! I don't even make eye contact, let alone give the right of way to some chump I can just as easily cut off!" means 'That's Right, you're in my Way, chump!'
	14. This sign means: No Parking. You probably shouldn't park here, but it's hardly ever enforced. No public urinating. "I can park here 'cuz I'm 'Special'. As a matter of fact, a guy once told me they named an Olympics after me..."
	15. This sign means: Do Not Enter. "Huh? Never noticed it." "Now you're screwing with me. That sign isn't even in the Drivers Manual." "Some guy got paid for work that didn't need to be done. Everybody knows you have to go down this street the wrong way to get there."
	16. Rotaries (known as traffic circles in the rest of the civilized world) have their own set of rules: When you approach a rotary, you must yield the right-of-way to any vehicles already in the rotary. Slow down a little and slip in between the cars. "They know me here and stay outta my way." "The guy with the biggest car wins. This SUV costs me $80 to fill up, but hey, I OWN those rotaries!"
	17. Many motor vehicle crashes are caused by improper turns. Which of the following is one of the steps necessary for a proper turn? Complete the turn carefully, making sure you turn into the proper lane. Glance up from the directions every once in a while then swerve quickly because you missed the turn. Blow past the idiots waiting in line and then put your signal on pretending you're from another part of the state (even though the same drivers see you every day). Blow past the idiots waiting in line and then WHIP in front of the lead car (because the same drivers see you every day and KNOW you're an idiot).
	18. What must you do if you see or hear an emergency vehicle coming? Pull as close as possible to the right side of the road and come to a complete stop until the vehicle has passed. Slow down a little and keep to the right. "They can wait in traffic just like everybody else, damnit!" "I can't hear anything when I've got my tunes cranked."
	19. In Boston, this sign means: Parking ahead. Public parking is up on the right. There is a chance there might be a space available on the right. "Bah! There's no parking in Boston, ya idjit."

Backstage, or under rather, at the RNC

Television media coverage is boring, at least for those covering it. Miles and miles and miles of cable, hours upon hours of setup and testing for 2 minutes of airtime, working odd hours because a reporter from the other coast wants to use your truck to transmit a feed. Setup, check the quality of your feed, find the quickest route to the bathroom and food (whether catered or junk) and then settle in for the shot. It's the same routine, over and over and over - Except this time. Jay Rosen at PressThink gives an under-the-scenes look at how the Republicans are doing things differently, and at the same time, makes it sound like the Democrats are still doing things old school.

arrest first, ask for professional credentials later

Award winning photo journalist Moises Saman was arrested for no apparent reason. It looks as if the NYPD is incapable of stopping a person and requesting professional creditials before hauling them to the pen. Maybe the officer just didn't have time to read the The NYPD Patrol Guide, code 116-53:

Photographers will have maximum access to demonstrators and incidents in New York City during the Republican National Convention vowed Paul Browne, Deputy Commissioner for Public Information for the NYPD. He promised media representatives at the August 12 joint meeting of the National Press Photographers and New York Press Photographers that his office will be available 24 hours a day to intercede with police and photographers to maintain freedom of the press.

I used to be a live driver for FOX (I know, I know) and there was always a 'you have your job, and I have my job too, so let's just give each other room' code that went with journalsim. It's a shame to see that code set aside for the RNC. Amazingly, the only media interested in this was local outlets. If a journalist was arrested by another country, there would definitely be an outcry.

Update 4:30 p.m.: here are pics of the arrest.

US$60M drug R&D effort results in product 4 times more potent

Unfortunately, the drug is cocaine. Look for it to get cheaper and swing back into favored status among partiers. Unfortunately, this means keeping a better eye on our kids to watch for indications of use. Sigh.

Experts estimate that the drugs traffickers spent £60 million to develop the new plant, using strains from Peru and crossbreeding them with potent Colombian varieties, as well as engaging in genetic engineering.

The resulting plant has also been bred to resist the gliphosate chemicals developed in the US that are sprayed on drugs crops across Colombia.

I wonder if we could cure cancer by having Merck hire away some of the chemists and other specialists from the Kingpins?

It's time to ditch caller id and create telephone buddy lists

The Register has a story about a California firm (site opens to the public 9/1) that allows customers to bypass traditional caller id tools. If it looks like the White House, or Jenny 867-5309, is calling, chances are it's a company you didn't want to talk to in the first place. SecurityFocus (site is a little slow right now) tested it and it works.

The phone companies would do well to modify the IM software so customers can receive calls only from numbers they choose. The only problem with that? What if you put down your parents' phone number on your original credit app? oops...

it's too bad none of the delegates got swept up in this too...

I wonder how many Bush supporters got swept up in this and are too embarrassed to speak out? Out of 264 people, what are the odds that all of the victims of this idiotic sweep were anti-Bush? I wonder if any of them were associated with the delegates? If there were, did they get out of the pen any quicker? hmmm....

Justice Department Censors Supreme Court Quote

We can all sleep safer now knowing that mission critical information like Supreme Court rulings are kept out of the hands of terrorists. I'm sure there has to be rules that Ashcroft uses to determine what gets redacted and what doesn't. He has to have one, right?

medals per capita of each team

The Aussies had put together a list of the number of medals per capita of the nation each athlete represented at the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, Greece. I started wondering how well the smaller contingents fared, at least by the number athletes sent to the Games:

gold rank	…		…		…	total	…	rank by total	…	athletes	…	medals per athl.
54		UAE		U Arab Emirates		1		64		4		0.25000
49		ZIM		Zimbabwe		3		51		19		0.15789
11		CUB		Cuba		27		11		193		0.13990
58		PRK		DPR Korea		5		37		36		0.13889
25		THA		Thailand		8		24		60		0.13333
14		ROM		Romania		19		14		155		0.12258
50		AZE		Azerbaijan		5		37		41		0.12195
28		ETH		Ethiopia		7		28		60		0.11667
3		RUS		Russia		92		2		826		0.11138
9		KOR		Korea		30		9		320		0.09375
71		SYR		Syrian Arab Rep		1		64		11		0.09091
48		INA		Indonesia		4		46		45		0.08889
10		GBR		Great Britain		30		9		355		0.08451
5		JPN		Japan		37		6		450		0.08222
59		LAT		Latvia		4		46		49		0.08163
2		CHN		China		63		3		774		0.08140
22		TUR		Turkey		10		21		128		0.07813
33		BUL		Bulgaria		12		19		154		0.07792
29		SVK		Slovakia		6		32		77		0.07792
41		KEN		Kenya		7		28		94		0.07447
1		USA		United States		103		1		1418		0.07264
16		NOR		Norway		6		32		84		0.07143
27		AUT		Austria		7		28		101		0.06931
29		IRI		I. R. Iran		6		32		87		0.06897
4		AUS		Australia		49		4		711		0.06892
26		BLR		Belarus		15		18		219		0.06849
6		GER		Germany		48		5		706		0.06799
34		JAM		Jamaica		5		37		74		0.06757
12		UKR		Ukraine		23		12		343		0.06706
71		ERI		Eritrea		1		64		15		0.06667
17		NED		Netherlands		22		13		331		0.06647
39		CHI		Chile		3		51		56		0.05357
7		FRA		France		33		7		618		0.05340
37		DEN		Denmark		8		24		154		0.05195
32		GEO		Georgia		4		46		77		0.05195
52		BAH		Bahamas		2		58		41		0.04878
52		ISR		Israel		2		58		43		0.04651
34		UZB		Uzbekistan		5		37		108		0.04630
43		RSA		South Africa		6		32		132		0.04545
40		KAZ		Kazakhstan		8		24		180		0.04444
19		SWE		Sweden		7		28		160		0.04375
46		SUI		Switzerland		5		37		117		0.04274
8		ITA		Italy		32		8		749		0.04272
20		ESP		Spain		19		14		472		0.04025
71		MGL		Mongolia		1		64		25		0.04000
65		EST		Estonia		3		51		79		0.03797
46		EGY		Egypt		5		37		134		0.03731
64		SLO		Slovenia		4		46		113		0.03540
31		TPE		Chinese Taipei		5		37		148		0.03378
45		LTU		Lithuania		3		51		94		0.03191
54		CMR		Cameroon		1		64		32		0.03125
42		CZE		Czech Republic		8		24		256		0.03125
13		HUN		Hungary		17		16		547		0.03108
23		POL		Poland		10		21		335		0.02985
51		BEL		Belgium		3		51		101		0.02970
44		CRO		Croatia		5		37		186		0.02688
71		TRI		Trinidad/Tobago		1		64		39		0.02564
66		HKG		Hong Kong		1		64		40		0.02500
60		MEX		Mexico		4		46		162		0.02469
21		CAN		Canada		12		19		496		0.02419
36		MAR		Morocco		3		51		132		0.02273
15		GRE		Greece		16		17		711		0.02250
54		DOM		Dominican Rep		1		64		45		0.02222
24		NZL		New Zealand		5		37		228		0.02193
38		ARG		Argentina		6		32		275		0.02182
18		BRA		Brazil		10		21		497		0.02012
69		VEN		Venezuela		2		58		122		0.01639
62		FIN		Finland		2		58		135		0.01481
66		PAR		Paraguay		1		64		72		0.01389
61		POR		Portugal		3		51		216		0.01389
71		COL		Colombia		1		64		83		0.01205
69		NGR		Nigeria		2		58		203		0.00985
54		IRL		Ireland		1		64		107		0.00935
62		SCG		Serbia/Monteneg		2		58		232		0.00862
66		IND		India		1		64		142		0.00704

I put this together using the medal count and the number of athletes listed on their respective countries' page, like this one for the U.S. I realize this does not take into effect the number of medals won by teams, but I'll leave that to a news service with more time and resources.

Kudos to all of the athletes for their efforts and their acheivements.

finally finished tweaking the template

Well, I finally got the code cleaned up. I almost have the entire page strict compliant, except for the feed from blogger and and writing the object code for the shoutbox. Time to savor the flavor...

fear and loathing

I felt safer ducking scuds in Al Jubail than I do here in the States under a vague Code Yellow / Orange / Red. I was willing to stand by George Bush Sr. when the duty called, but he didn't deliberately try to instill fear in me like his son has. I need to find the quote that went something along the lines of:

The idea of America was once one of hope, regardless of where in the world you were. Now it stands for fear. George W. Bush instilled that fear.

I'm sure it wasn't by accident either. I hope that fear will pass for The U.S. and for the world on November 2nd.

I'm finally getting comfortable using blogger

I had a beginner site on jroller, but I just couldn't get the hang of it. I had trouble with the templates as well as not being able to keep log files longer than the time the server served them up. I set this blogger account up 3 days ago (yes, I copied a few posts over) and began using reinvigorate data archiving service (DAS) to track traffic. So far, it looks like a very well thought out tool. Here's a screenshot:

sweet, sweet retractable baton love

I'm not a lawyer, but I would be willing to bet that there will be more than a few laughs at the local watering holes frequented by attorney types. Bloggers also are laughing at the response to the well thought out letter from Dennis L. Wilson, Esq. at KEATS McFARLAND & WILSON, LLP trying to enforce the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) for DreamWorks' Shrek. I paid cash for Shrek on DVD - Shrek 2 may be one title I torrent, despite the lower quality.

Is your search engine working for you?

A tool is only as good as how well it is made. Every web designer has to keep search engine optimization in mind, otherwise their product is useless to their clients. The googleguy site that compares the results of Google and Yahoo shows side by side the search results in the respective engines. I quickly ran two searches on sites I created, but with highly unique terms and with the robots file properly configured on the server. The search terms play prominent roles on both pages.

On the first search, Yahoo listed the page in the number 1 spot - Google returned a collateral page that linked to the site in the number 6 spot but did not show the actual page.
On the second search, Yahoo listed the page in the number 1 spot - Google? I gave up looking after 300 entries. The client's customers wouldn't have gotten that far.

This wasn't always the case... Google has made some damn fine 'improvements' to their algorithm.

How, exactly, do bicyclists "endanger" motorists?

one of the many articles had this snippet:

Deputy Police Commissioner Paul Browne said the bikers had caused ''massive disruptions'' and endangered motorists.

While it is true there were massive disruptions, I still have not come across an article that explains how 200 lbs. of man and metal endagered a couple of tons of metal last night. He did add:

"They were blocking intersections all along the way, backing up traffic," said top NYPD spokesman Paul Browne. "I personally witnessed several ambulances that couldn't get through. They had their lights and sirens on."

So how is it that the police were able to barricade certain routes, yet they were not capable of stopping the crowd long enough to allow emergency vehicles through?!

Let's see how the Bush camp spins these numbers

Three Bush supporters chanting "Ker-ry lied!" were drowned out yesterday by 5,000 Anti-Bush protesters on bicycles. Whether you're in the "I'm voting for Kerry, but I wish he would get his facts straight" camp, or the "I'll follow Bush even though he's the Devil incarnate hiding behind the 'God is with me' curtain," It will be hard to spin the fact that thousands of protesters turned out before the RNC even started.

Maybe the Bush camp will use 'there were that many anti-Kerry protesters at the DNC too, but they got lost on those crazy Boston streets.' Of course, with almost 100 times as many arrests as had occured in Boston, they might try the 'we created two new democracies, and look at all of the people here that are free to voice their opinion' spin.

the Christian Broadcasting Channel needs your donations now!

The CBC needs your help to spread the word of God to the peaceful and accepting natives of Marklar. The new planet of Marklar has been discovered in the Marklar system (it is not mu Arae - we have the name wrong, of course), and the heathen Marklar have not been exposed to the Marklar of Marklar, er, Word of God.

the PeaceKeeper Wars trailer looks promising

but will it be enough to make up for screwing over the Farscape fans in the first place?

let the moaning, groaning and booing commence

Personally, I would hold off on dropping a dime at the concession stand if the theater subjected me to this... Defamer is calling for a boycott of the latest MPAA nonsense bullshit. It's not bad enough that they try to pass off the overpriced crap in the theaters as movies, but now we have to put up with this whiny shit too?

Political Ads Suck, Thus

Isn’t it time we had an organization that aired television commercials in place of the crap we’re subjected to over and over and over? My idea for a script for a piece:

FADE IN to tranquil scene. wait 20 seconds
FADE IN text on bottom of screen: Political Ads Suck, Thus, we brought you a moment of relief from the lunacy. Make political ads a thing of the PAST.

That way we won’t have to listen to both sides spouting the ‘truth’.

please, don’t let me disturb your lunch

In Shrewsbury, the intersection of Route 9 and Quinsigamond has one lane southbound and two lanes making a left turn going north then westbound. While the intersection is scheduled for a $1,328,000.00 redesign (pdf), there currently are no signs reminding those turning left that they have to yield to the oncoming traffic. There seems to be a gang mentality of ‘screw them, there are more of us than them’ and so they charge through the intersection oblivious to the southbound vehicles. Today was no exception.

I came down the hill in my dark green F-150 (not dificult to see in broad daylight) and had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting an idiot in a Jeep Cherokee. No wave to say ‘sorry,’ nothing. We both travelled across the bridge and made our turns to go southbound on Lake Ave. I pulled up beside him with the following exchange:

Me: “Do you see me now?”
Twit (rolls down his right window): “What?”
Me: Do you see me now?”
Twit: “Huh?”
Me: “You didn’t see me back in the intersection.”
Twit: “What intersection?”
Me: “The one on the other side of the bridge where you just made the left hand turn and cut me off.”
Twit (takes another bite of the salad on his lap): “Huh?”
Me (sarcastically): “Oops.”

Light turns green. Twit pulls forward, and then holds up traffic by making a left hand turn across a double double yellow line. I wish I had got his plates. I need to start a hall of shame. Wait, they have no shame.

my mother-in-law says the WMDs are there

And she says the whole country is going to hell because of the liberals. When I tell her I am scared that people believe it is okay to fire a person for questioning W., she responds with “well I guess Hussein wasn’t killing all of those people.” It was as if the irrelevant, nonsensical response had been programmed into her. When I tell her I don’t support W., she then tells me that I’m an idiot for supporting all the immigrants coming in illegally. It doesn’t matter to her that, in fact, I’m for legal immigration and opposed to providing benefits to illegal immigrants. If I’m anti-Bush, them I must be one of those extreme liberal freaks. To her, there is no middle ground. (Background: the church she attends is not considered a cult, but is categorized as shepherding.)

So the question is this: which is the more immediate threat to a sane discussion about American issues, the Muslim madrassas drilling anti-western ideas into susceptible minds, or the Christian madrassas drilling anti-liberal simplistic ideas into susceptible minds?

political gatherings: a euphemism for circle jerk

dissenters are yelled down not because they are wrong, but because they screwed up the rhythm. If someone stands up to yell ‘the emperor has no clothes,’ the audience doesn’t join the cry and ask ‘yeah, what’s up with that?’ Good cattle. Good cattle. The Producer and the Director smile… Only 20 seconds lost and it will increase the news coverage of the event later.

the perk card the New York activists really need

just right click, print, and enjoy!



The nycvisit site offers special discounts on hotels, restaurants, museums and attractions. In trade, all they ask is that you behave like a docile little peaceful political activist. The entire convention will be about the innovative button program. Now, your issue won't make the televised news, but theirs will.

Evil of Two Lessers

My father was a used car salesman, thus, I was fed a heavy diet of bullshit. When you drink too much tequila (the crappy stuff, not the premium labels) and get violently sick, afterwards you are highly sensitive to the smell and taste – almost hypersensitive. That’s how I am with bullshit. My father would say something, that, to the entire family sounded like a promise, except it wasn’t. He chose his words carefully, because when he was screwing over the poor victim that had come to him for a car, he had to close the deal without actually doing anything illegal. Get your toes right up to the line, but never cross it. That’s how I feel about W's rhetoric. Unfortunately, Anti-Bush does not necessarily mean Pro-Kerry. It means the current political machine dictates who we get stuck with as an alternative. johnkerrysucksless.com mirrors many of the feelings I have in this years race:

”Let’s face it- All career politicians suck. They may start out starry eyed and full of ideals but the political process grinds them down and makes them beholden to large corporations and one of the two major parties. The higher up in the political food chain you get the worse it is. Imagine after years in the system how many IOUs exist. You can not expect to raise all that money for re-election without a few strings attached.”

I think it’s time to push harder for ‘Kamikaze Politicians’. People who get in, take out the enemy, and do it at the expense of their political careers. The only benefit would be to the public that voted them into office, not the PACs and lobbyists. When the time came for the politician to repay the IOUs, he/she could politely bow out with a “sorry, I need to spend time with my family.” They’re all liars, but at least I could live with a lie like that.

Athens 2004 hyperlink stupidity, er, policy

So, let's see how long before they contact me to tell me I am in violation of "proper hyperlink policy" And just to show just how backwards the policy is...

the wicked witch’s house? inane NBC, pt.3

Katie: “And the Parthenon, which is there, almost looks like the Wicked Witch’s house in the Wizard of Oz the way it is spinning around.” (~46 minute mark)

Credit goes to my wife for catching this one. I wish there was a karaoke feature on TV, with the ability to turn of the commentary track and just listen to the music and crowds and not the idjits.

one hour of commercials, three hours of Olympics

NBC is (brought to you by Budweiser) proud to (brought to you by TIAA CREF) bring you (brought to you by BofA) the 2004 (brought to you by Chevy) Olympic Games (brought to you by Home Depot) from Athens (brought to you by VISA) Greece. And remember, (brought to you by AT&T) the Olympics (brought to you by Mazda) takes a (brought to you by Nivea) very anti-drugs (brought to you by Celebrex) stance and (brought to you by SBC) wants the (brought to you by McDeath) public to (brought to you by Detrol) know this. Not forgeting, of course, the girl in the Old Navy ad that looked like she was on drugs.

When it is all said and done, viewers will be subjected to close to 399 hours $1 BILLION of commercials.

Bob: “...As many of these nations make their appearance, it is worth remembering, that of the 202 participating countries, 86 have never had even a single athlete win an Olympic medal, so for them, the acheivement is just in being here. This parade of nations, for many of these athletes, is the biggest moment in the whole Olympics.” And now a word from just a few our sponsors.

inane NBC, part 2

I'm catching last night's Olympic Games Commercials today due to tape delayed tape delayed coverage (vcr) - thus the delayed posts. Back to the stupidity...

Katie: "And the coutry that follows that, Bob?"
Bob: "Is Djibouti"
Katie: You bet!"
Bob: " You bet 'yer bootie. It's tradition"

Marching with the flag of Djibouti was Ayan Ibrahim Chehem, Delegation Dignitary. She was certainly more dignified than the two bungholes talking.

inane NBC commentary... no fun at all

About 48 minutes into the 2004 Olympic opening ceremonies, the witty NBC script writers did the US proud. Instead of commenting on the care and craftsmanship necessary to create the outfits worn by those in the procession, they came up with this for the commentary on the costumes went as follows:

Katie Couric: "...Including the familar pleated skirts. Today the official uniform of the Presidential Guard. Each skirt has 400 pleats, set to represent every year of Greek suppression before the Greeks gained independence in 1832. Pressing them, Bob, no fun at all..."
Bob Costas: "I guess not. Think of the dry cleaning tab."
Think of the salaries these dolts make.

One post on virtual tourist says "...the Evzones have professional steam irons in the barracks and have to iron them themselves. The uniforms are made by special craftsman in workshops within the barracks and take 80 days to make."

if the credit companies are against it, it must be good for you

A few states have enacted a law that allows you to put a 'lock' on your credit report, keeping others from slamming you with identity theft. If your State does not have a bill in the works, it's time to contact them. See also privacy rights and identity theft for more info.